His Very Blue Eyes
by In Need of a New Name
Summary: I'm not sure of how to begin. He was the one good with word, not me. Who? I don't know how to answer that in simple words. They're just so many layers that I can't easily describe him without explaining many other things first. I'm sorry, this isn't what I planned. Let's start it over. Hi, my name is Hikari Yagami and this is the story of how I fell for my best friend. AU


**Hey guys!**

**So, we're all excited because the gang will be back in 2015, huh? I know I am.**

**This is an one-shot and the first 'first-person' thing I've ever done.**

**I hope you like it.**

* * *

I'm not sure of how should I begin this. He was the one good with word, not me. Who is he, you ask? I don't know how to answer that in simple words. They are just so many layers that I can't easily describe him without explaining many other things between us first…

I'm sorry, this isn't coming out the way I planned. Let's start it over.

Hi, my name is Hikari Yagami and this is the short, yet precious story of how I fell in love with my best friend.

* * *

His name was Takeru Takaishi. He was a good looking guy with soft blond hair and deep intense blue eyes. He was cheerful and bright as a night full of stars and his smile was as warm as the first day of a long waited summer.

I met him back when we were eight in a random summer afternoon. Yamato, my brother Taichi's best friend had come to play at our place and had brought his little brother along. Yamato told us (me and my brother) excited that he, Takeru, would be staying with him and his father during the summer vacation. Let me explain, Yamato and Takeru's parents were divorced and the brothers lived apart, Yamato being left with their father and Takeru with their mother.

Our first meeting was nothing like a movie-ish encounter. First, we were, as I already pointed out, eight and honestly, when you're that young, you don't see other kids as potential soul mates nor see your future romantically attached to them. At least, we didn't. Second, how dramatic your life can be when you're a naïve little kid whose only worry is to figure out the best way of having fun that specific day?

If I had to point out anything that nearly indicated how Destiny played, it would be that… we got along very well. I know it's not that much, but it's all I have.

The thing is, even though we just met and all (I was a very shy person when I was little – shyer, at least), it didn't feel weird to be with him, it was almost like our brothers friendship affected us, for the good.

You see, mom always said I was a smart girl since I was little. That's because according to her, I liked to do a lot of things at once. For me, it just seemed natural. That afternoon, I was eating my cookies as I did some drawings, watched cartoons on the TV and took care of Nina, my doll who I pretended was my daughter.

After Taichi and Yamato locked themselves in my brother's room, Takeru and I got alone in the living room, once my mother was preparing snacks in the kitchen.

When I saw Takeru standing there after his brother left with mine, I asked him if he wanted to watch cartoons with me.

He smiled and sat next to me on the carpet.

"What are you drawing?" He asked leaning a little over the coffee table to look at the paper I had in front of me.

"A dinosaur." I told him and showed the orange big animal I was so proudly painting.

"Dinosaurs aren't orange, silly." Takeru giggled.

"Well, mine IS." I pouted irritated at his words. Not only he had made fun of my drawing but he had also called me silly! The courage of that boy…

"Sorry," Takeru smiled with a genuine look on his very blue eyes. I remember thinking to myself that they (his eyes) were really beautiful, the blue was so full of life and there was this something on his look that made all my anger at him flow away. "I like orange." He said and I smiled forgiving him.

With that, I got back to drawing but couldn't avoid noticing that Takeru kept silently looking at me.

"What?" I asked when I got somehow uncomfortable with his eyes.

"You forgot his teeth." He said and I looked down at my dinosaur. He was right. I nodded and started drawing the teeth on his mouth.

"You have to make them very sharp." Takeru suggested.

"No," I argued. "If I do, he'll look mean and he's not mean."

"He's not?" Takeru asked confused.

"No, he protects kids." I stated firmly, not worried whether he would laugh again or not. "And fights bad monsters."

"Really?" Takeru asked a little bit interest. "That's cool."

I remember how happy I was at his words. It felt like I finally found someone who could truly understand me. I mean, I loved Taichi but he was so noisy sometimes and all he could think about was soccer and running and… I felt Takeru was a more sensitive kid.

"You wanna help me make a story for him?" I asked offering him a new paper sheet.

"Sure!" Takeru grabbed a pencil and started drawing on the paper I'd given him. "You know, my dad works at the TV station."

"Really? You think he can make a cartoon of our dinosaur?"

"I can ask." His blue eyes sparkled with excitement. "What's the name of _our_ dinosaur?" he asked with an adorably special emphasis on the word 'our'.

"Agumon." I said quickly without even hesitating. The name had just popped up in my head, but it suited our dinosaur perfectly.

Takeru laughed and got back to his task.

"I like it."

The little orange dinosaur that fought bad monsters and protected his human friends never got to television. Still, that day really marked my life – and I believe Takeru's - as it was the day our friendship started.

* * *

We saw each other every day of that summer, after our first meeting. Whether he (and Yamato) would come play with me (and Taichi) or Taichi and I would go visit them. Or, the four of us would go to the public swimming pool, or the park, or anywhere. The place didn't really matter as long as we could stay together.

Soon enough, we became inseparable. We got to know each other to the point that we knew what the other was thinking before we put our thoughts into words. Well, it wasn't like we didn't fight or argue (in fact, I remember we did fight once because I wanted to play on the swing and Takeru wanted to play hide and seek… thank God, our brothers intervened before it could affect our friendship.), it was just that no matter how much we argued, we were always back to best friends, smiling together, at the end of the day.

That was by far the best summer of my life.

But it had to end.

Summer was over and Takeru would go back to his home, with his mom, on the other side of the city. And I wouldn't see him everyday anymore.

"Don't be sad, Hikari…" Takeru tried to cheer me up at our last day together, but his own sadness wasn't entirely hidden when his voice came out. "It's not like we're never gonna see each other again."

"Yeah, but when?" I was biting my lower lip not to start crying in front of him. The last thing I needed was his last image of me to be of a crybaby.

"I…" Takeru couldn't give me an answer, because he didn't have an answer himself. He stayed with his brother and his dad this summer, which meant Yamato would stay with his mom and him the next break and he didn't know when he would be back to Odaiba.

"I don't know, but I promise that when I'm back we're gonna play together a lot." He put his hands on each side of my face and lifted it so I would look straight at the blue of his eyes. "And we're gonna feed the ducks again, and play video games, and camp in the living room and anything you want, Hikari." He assured me with hurry in his voice.

"Promise?" My voice came out shaky and I held up my right hand with the pinkie finger out to him.

"I promise." He wrapped his own finger around mine and gave me a gentle smile.

And I believed him, because Takeru would never lie to me.

That's what I thought back then.

* * *

We managed to make things work between us in the beginning. Whenever Takeru was at Odaiba (or those measly times that I convinced mom to take me to see him), we would hang out together and it would feel like we were never apart. Conversation was easy between us and we cherished the rare few moments we had together, enjoying the time with each other the best we could.

But as you grow up, physical distance turns out to be a pain of a problem. And we had to learn that the hard way.

The strong bond we shared didn't weaken at first; the bad thing was that life didn't stop when we weren't together. We went to different schools; we made other friends; we found different interests… we had entire lives away from each other. And no matter how well things worked out between us, there was a gap that none of us could bridge.

When it was just the two of us, none of those problems existed, but we weren't the only ones in the universe; we couldn't keep hiding in our special little world. And it got harder and harder to stop our lives to be with each other.

So hard to the point that I hadn't seen Takeru in a period longer than two years. It wasn't like we stopped being friends - we always emailed, and texted and called each other for the most random reasons possible, we just didn't meet anymore. When did it start? I don't know. What I know is that we always made plans on going to the movies, or just having ice cream together, but they were always so vague and with no definite date.

And before I could realize it, two years had already passed.

I wanted to get things back to how they were when we were little. I wanted to be part of his life and I wanted him to be a part of mine back. God, I wanted to see him again. I missed him.

But at the same time, I was afraid. An inner voice inside my heart kept telling me that he didn't feel that way about me. The voice said that I was the only one missing him; that he didn't think about me as much as I thought about him. It said that I was no longer his best friend, though he remained mine.

Looking back at that younger me, I feel embarrassed to say that that voice won. I gave up on my best friend because I was too coward, too weak and too selfish. I didn't want to hurt myself, so I shut him out. To protect my small pride and my fragile heart.

_You made the right choice_. That's what that little voice said and I forced those words into my brain.

* * *

The game 'I miss you and we should totally hang out together sometime but not any time in the near future' continued until we entered high school (I believe I already explained that Takeru and I have the same age, but if not… Well, looks like Destiny had already moved a few pieces before we were even born. Oh, and on top of that, the age difference between the both of us and our respective brothers is of approximately three years).

So what my surprise was when I saw him again, at one of the most unexpected places I could think of.

I remember I was standing in the corridor with some of my middle school girl friends, talking about how exciting it was to finally be in high school when I saw that guy with very familiar penetrating eyes.

One thing became clear to me that moment: no matter how many years we stayed apart, I would never miss those very blue eyes.

"Takeru?" I called. He was walking on the opposite side of the corridor and didn't seem to have noticed me – or recognized me, the little voice I knew so well suggested and I tried hard to ignore it.

At the moment he heard his name being called and turned to my direction, his face just lightened up in a way that I knew he had recognized me.

"Hikari?" He then proved my speculations right. "Is that you? Of course that's you!"

I had walked toward him and he had met me halfway there.

"Oh my God!" I beamed and hugged him tight.

Takeru didn't seem bothered by the fact that we were at school and people were staring at us, considering that he hugged me back immediately and didn't let me go for a long while.

As I said before, things never were weird between Takeru and me. No matter how long we spent separate, when back together, it was like we never stopped seeing each other.

"What are you doing here?" I asked curious.

"The same thing as you, I believe." He had a smirk on the corner of his lips. "I study here."

I playfully punched him for his answer, considering that that wasn't the meaning of my question and he absolutely knew it.

He then explained that his mother got transferred at work and that they were just waiting for Takeru to graduate middle school so they could move back to Odaiba. I scolded him for not telling me earlier and he said he couldn't tell me because he already had it all planned.

When I asked him what he meant by that, he just shrugged and explained that he wanted to see my face when we unexpectedly met at school and that I had ruined his plans by finding him first. Then, another question came to my mind. How could he know the school I was going to? Takeru laughed a full laughter as he told me he had Yamato to investigate me for him.

And then, some things started to fit in like pieces of a puzzle. The mischievous looks Yamato would throw at me; he occasionally asking whether I had news from his brother; he wanting to know how I felt about starting high school soon… it all made sense. And Yamato would hear from me (as he actually did) after that.

* * *

We went together to have some juice that same afternoon, immediately after classes ended.

"I'm sorry, Takeru." I told him as we were sitting on a table of the almost empty juice bar. I played with my straw to distract myself.

"About what?" Takeru asked and I knew he had no clue on why I was apologizing.

"About not meeting you in all this time." My hands beat on the table loudly, shaking our cups. I let myself look up at him and I found a concerned look on his face.

"Hikari, I'm the one who should be apologizing, not you." He said gentle and rested a hand on top of mine.

I think he saw the confusion in my eyes, because he continued.

"I was avoiding seeing you because I was scared to be excluded of your life. I didn't want to find out that I wasn't part of it anymore; that I wasn't your friend anymore."

I remember that I couldn't say anything at that moment. Takeru's words seemed too familiar.

"I'm sorry." He murmured with his eyes down on our hands.

"You really mean that?" I asked still suspicious.

"Uh… yeah?" Takeru looked a bit confused back then. Whatever he expected my reaction to be, he sure wasn't expecting that.

"Takeru, that's exactly what I was thinking myself." I squeezed his hand with mine. "I was such a coward and honestly, if you weren't back to Odaiba, God knows when we would meet again."

"You serious?" It was his time to ask.

"Yeah." I laughed.

"Wow," he sighed relieved and laughed too. "I guess I forgot how alike we are." He looked straight at me. His eyes were smiling.

"Me too." I got lost on the blue of his eyes. "Thanks for coming back to my life." I confided him in a low voice.

"Thanks for letting me back." he told me back just as low.

I believe it's unnecessary to say that our friendship just strengthened up after that. We weren't in the same classroom, but since we were then living next to each other, there were no obstacles stopping us from spending all time we could together.

In a healthy way, I must add, before you get the wrong idea. It wasn't like we were doing everything together like Siamese twins, he still had his things and I had mine. But we did a lot of things together to the point that people misunderstood us. Countless times we had to correct our friends and assure them that what we had was friendship and friendship only.

Trust me, it wasn't like I had anything against Takeru: he was gorgeous, he was smart, he was funny, he was kind, he was the sweetest person in the world, he always knew how to cheer you up and any girl would be lucky to date him. It was just that we didn't have that kind of feelings towards each other back then…

And things between us remained like that for several years. And to be honest, I wasn't unhappy about it, not entirely, at least.

* * *

There is this particular afternoon that is attached to my memory for some odd and unknown reason. Nothing really happened that day and yet I can't forget it. And even if it's not an exciting memory, at least I can say that it's a nice one.

Takeru and I were studying together at the library one day of our high school senior year and we were sitting one across the other with lots of text books spread opened between us.

I noticed his eyes on me as I was doing my own homework.

"What?" I asked without looking away from my notebook.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?" He asked and I knew he would be grinning.

"Uh-huh…" I put my pencil down and slowly looked up at him. Yes, he was grinning. "What do you want?" I arched one eyebrow at him.

"What makes you think I want something?" Takeru gave me his innocent face and I rolled my eyes.

"As flattering as it feels to be courted by Mister Takeru Takaishi, the most wanted guy of the entire school, I have to say: I know you, Takeru." I rested my elbows on the table, intertwining my fingers together and resting my chin over them. "And I know you want something from me." I looked at him, daring him to deny it.

Takeru leaned back on his chair, a smirk on his lips as he stared back at me.

"You do know me." he admitted.

"And…?" I waved my hands, encouraging him to continue.

"And I need your help on my chemistry report." He spilled in one breath.

"Aren't those supposed to be done in pairs?" I asked him curious.

Takeru was smart and he really was an ace when it came to humanities and social sciences but exact sciences were always his weakness. Still, it didn't mean he would need my help, if I wasn't even in his class.

"They are." He sighed. "And guess who my partner is?"

"Who?" I played along with him.

"Daisuke."

I couldn't avoid but letting out a contained laughter.

I knew Daisuke back from the middle school, when he used to have a crush on me. We were really good friends (not like Takeru and I, but still) and he being in the same class as Takeru got the two of them closer. There was some friendly rivalry between them, something related to men pride, I suppose…

Getting back to the library, well… Let's say that chemistry wasn't Daisuke's forte. Let's say that studying wasn't Daisuke's forte at all.

"Now you know why I'm asking for help." Takeru released a heavy sigh.

"I can understand your concern…" I smiled.

"It means you're gonna help me, right?" Takeru leaned on the table closer to me in a hopeful way.

"It means I'll think about it." I pretended to consider helping him, tapping my index finger on my chin.

"Come on, Hikari!" he cried. "I'll do anything you want."

"Anything?" I arched an eyebrow over that.

Takeru looked alarmed but played cool.

"You wouldn't be mean to me, would you?" he gave a puppy face and I smiled fondly.

"Of course not, my dear Takeru." I looked at him mischievously. "Just remember that you're gonna owe me."

"I'm scared of you, Hikari. I really am." His voice tone was serious, but there were traces of a grin on his lips.

* * *

If you're curious about what I had Takeru to do for me in return for helping him that time, well, your curiosity will be satisfied: I had him to give the photography club a little help on the school fest that same year. No big deal, huh? Takeru thought that too at first.

"Remind me again why I agreed on this?" he asked.

"Because you said you would do anything I wanted if I helped you and Daisuke with your report." I rolled my eyes for the millionth time that day.

"Then why isn't Daisuke here too?" Takeru shouted indignant.

"Because Daisuke didn't promise me anything." I said as I finished setting my camera on the tripod. "Ready?" I asked him smiling.

"Not really." He answered sarcastically.

"Please, Takeru, don't be dramatic." I stared at him half serious. "It's just a photo shoot."

"It's not just a photo shoot!" he argued. "What's with these clothes?" he pointed down at the puffy shirt the photography club had chosen for him to wear.

"We voted and looks like girls really wanted to see you dressed like a prince." I said with my arms folded over my chest. "Are you done?"

"No!" he shouted again. "You can't take pictures of me like this and then sell them at the festival!"

"Why not?" I shrugged. "We already have the school's permission and it's not like you're posing nude or anything."

"Oh, I'd rather pose nude." He waved his arms dangerously.

"Trust me," I laughed. "that was an option, but then the teacher censored us."

"Lucky me." He said dryly and rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Takeru. Let's just get done with this already." I begged him. "Like ripping off a band aid: quick and painless."

"Easy for you to say." He mumbled in a bad mood.

"You want me to send the copies of these photos to Yamato or what?" I blackmailed.

"You wouldn't." Takeru's eyes were narrowed at me.

"I wouldn't," I admitted. "but still, hurry up, please? I'll pay you a crepe later, okay?"

He looked at me for a whole minute without saying a word and then sighed beaten.

"Fine." He said and threw his hands in the air. "But I don't want the photos getting any close to my brother _or_ your brother."

"You have my word." I held up my right hand as I promised him and with my left hand gestured to the white screen in front of the camera we had prepared for the photos.

He nodded slowly and walked to his spot and I could hear he muttering to himself "quick and painless, quick and painless, quick and painless…" in a non stopping way.

* * *

Takeru and I had an unspoken rule about us two going out – as a couple: we would never try it.

You see, our friendship was too important to risk it taking our relation to another level. We had closely seen what happened when it didn't work out for the best: my brother Taichi had started going out with one of his best friends, Sora. They were a perfect couple, Sora complemented my brother, she was the reasonable side Taichi never had and things went out great between them for a while.

For a while, I emphasize. Because eventually, they broke up. So, they saw each other as friends after that, considering they shared their circle of close friends (me and Takeru included), but things were… different, to say the least. They still joked and made fun of each other, but if you knew them as we did, you could see that something had changed between them.

And I just couldn't imagine that happening to Takeru and me. He was my best friend and losing him in any way was completely out of question, no matter what my feelings for him were. I'd just have to suck them up and keep things the way they were: with us being friends and that's all.

And I think Takeru shared my thoughts, because we hadn't started dating till we were in our second year of college.

* * *

Three in the morning of a Sunday.

I used the keys I had found on his jeans pocket to unlock the door and dragged the semi conscious guy I had picked up about twenty minutes ago inside.

I turned the switch on and light illuminated the silent room.

Right next to me, Takeru groaned because of the clarity.

I put him resting on the three seater couch the best way I could, considering that he was way heavier than me. Then, went to the kitchen to fill a glass of water.

I heard fast footsteps on the wooden floor and then the noises of someone throwing up.

When I got back to the living room, the couch was empty.

I set the glass on the coffee table and put an aspiring I had in my purse right next to it.

Sitting on the corner of the couch, I looked around absently at the apartment Takeru and other two friends shared. Their names were Daisuke and Ken and the three were friends since high school. Ken was in the soccer club with Daisuke and after introduced to him one day, the three became really good friends, to the point that after deciding to go to the same university, they'd quickly settled that they'd be sharing an apartment, without second thoughts.

Takeru walked out of the bathroom groaning incoherent words to himself.

He fell on the couch with his head resting on my lap and I instinctively started caressing his blonde hair.

"Remind me not to go out with Daisuke ever again." He layd on his back with an arm protecting his eyes from the brightness.

I laughed gentle.

I heard Daisuke had dragged Ken and Takeru to a party he stated would be The Best Party Of The Year.

"Where are those two, by the way?" he asked.

"Daisuke said he wasn't leaving till the party was over, so Ken stayed to babysit him." I felt sorry for Ken. He was always looking after his best friend.

"Lucky you, Ken called me to pick you up."

"Yeah, thanks for rescuing me." Takeru nodded slightly.

"My pleasure." I smiled and squeezed his hand with my free hand.

He squeezed my hand back but aside from that, he emitted no words and we fell in a comfortable silence, until his voice broke it some minutes later.

"Hikari?" he called.

"Hm?" I looked down at him.

He moved his arm away from his eyes and allowed me to look at his blue tired eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" he had a serious look on his face.

My brain froze when he asked that. First, because it was completely out of the blue. Second, he was defying the most important rule of our friendship. And third, I didn't know how to answer that.

"Why?" that was the first nearly smart reply I could give.

"Because I want to." He sat back on the couch, his eyes never leaving mine.

I laughed a dry laughter.

"Takeru, you're drunk." I rolled my eyes. "I don't think you're thinking clear."

"I think I am." He held my hands with his own in a confident way.

"Takeru," I sighed and moved my hands away from his.

I gave him the glass of water and the aspirin.

He took them unwillingly and shoved them down his throat quickly.

I took him to his bed as he kept giving me not so smart reasons for why I should kiss him.

When he was comfortably resting under his blanket like a little kid, I smiled.

"Your breath is disgusting." I said in a mocking way.

Takeru didn't have an argument for that, as his shocked expression and opened mouth made clear.

"I think I'll be going now." I added as he didn't say anything himself. "Do you need anything else?" I asked and I should have seen what was coming next.

"Kiss me." He smirked and there was fun on his eyes.

"Not gonna happen, lover boy." I laughed and stood up from his bed.

"I think I like you, Hikari." He murmured and it made me froze by the door.

One of my hands kept holding the doorknob still.

"Try again when you're sure about it." I looked at him from over my shoulder before shutting the door behind me.

I left the apartment in a hurry, locked the front door and threw the keys inside the mailbox.

Alone in the elevator, I tried hard to convince myself that all that happened that night, all he'd said was the alcohol, that Takeru would never say those things if he wasn't completely wasted.

The next day, we met for coffee and he said his memories of the other night were all blurry and he didn't remember a thing at all. He asked me if he had done anything weird and I said that he didn't, because his words were what I needed to hold my emotions back. If he didn't remember what he'd said, I definitely would not be the one to remind hm.

* * *

You must be wondering how we ended up together, then. Take it easy, I'm getting there, trust me.

So, a week later the Drunk Night Incident, Takeru and I were at the park, by the lake feeding the ducks with breadcrumbs.

It was a chill autumn afternoon and it was like we had the whole park to ourselves.

I looked straight at the beautiful landscape in front of us, taking in the serenity and peace it gave me. Takeru was a few steps behind me, also in silence.

"Hikari," he called at some point that afternoon.

I looked back at him and what I saw was odd, because there was a concerned look on my best friend.

"What's wrong?" I asked furrowing my brows.

"I-…" Takeru took a deep breath. "I'm sure now."

A frown formed in my face as I had no idea of what he was talking about.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I'm sure now." He said again and walked the few steps that separated us. "I'm sure about my feelings."

He said and I finally understood what he was talking about.

"You remember…" was all I could say and he nodded with a shy smile.

"I do." He stretched out his arms to hold mine over the elbows. "And I can tell you for sure: I like you."

Takeru took my silence as a cue to continue.

"Not only I like you, Hikari, but I-…" he struggled. "I love you."

And I could see the truth in the blue of his eyes…

But I couldn't say anything back. We stayed there, he holding me and I petrified, until it got too uncomfortable and he broke the contact first.

He cleared his throat loudly and I could see his anxiousness in every small reaction of his body.

"Look, it's not too late. We don't have to risk what we already have for this. We can go back, pretend this never happened and-…."

I cut him off by grabbing his hand.

"Takeru… I love you too." I let out the words I'd been holding for so long.

Having him saying those words first just made it all easier. For a moment, I thought we could make things work; I thought there was no problem on letting him know; I thought we could go through anything together. And the adrenaline of the moment stopped me from thinking it further.

Takeru's face just brightened up and I still remember very clearly the goofy smile he gave me back then.

"Well," he stepped closer to me and his hand reached out to touch my cheek. "That makes things a lot easier." He chuckled slightly and I followed him.

"Let me ask you again, then." I saw my own happiness reflected on his blue eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

I looked up at him and nodded, not trusting my voice to let out any words.

And then, his lips were touching mine.

You know what people say about how you feel goose bumps and see fireworks when you kiss the love of your life? Well, they are all lies. Because I knew Takeru was The One with capital letters and I felt any of those things. I had kissed other guys before and I'd be lying if I said Takeru's kiss was any like those experiences, but the only thing I could take from it was that Takeru was a really, really good kisser.

If I had to name anything that made that kiss special was that… I was happy. It felt good to be kissing Takeru, just for the simple fact that I was kissing Takeru! And I think that's what marked me the most: kissing Takeru was the proof that assured me everything would be all right. It meant safety.

A while later, we parted after our sweet but long lasting kiss, smiling goofily at each other, my hands around his torso, his holding both sides of my face.

"Promise you'll never leave me." I allowed my weak and emotional side to whisper.

He leaned his forehead on mine and closed his eyes as I closed mine.

"I promise."

* * *

When we announced to our friends we were dating, we got lots of different reactions, from happy hugs and congratulations to high pitched squeals and ruffled snorts (mostly from my brother). But the thing was, nobody seemed that surprised about it. I remember Yamato's words when he hugged me and called me his little sister.

_Took you two long enough_, he said.

Apparently, our feelings towards each other weren't as much of a secret as we thought.

I'm not gonna get much further into the days after we became a real couple or the two years we spent together ever since, because they're memories too special for me.

The Takeru who took care of me when I had a fever; or who smiled gentle when I woke up in the bed next to him; or who held my hand when we walked home at night; or who hugged me when I had nightmares… That Takeru is just mine.

That's why I'm gonna speed things up to that night...

It was raining and I couldn't see a thing out on the dark road.

Takeru was driving and we were getting back from a party. I looked out the window as heavy raindrops hit the glass, avoiding looking at him.

"Hikari," he sighed next to me.

"Don't even start, Takeru." I cut him off dry.

"Can you at least tell me what you are so upset about?" He begged and I felt the annoyance in his voice.

"Why don't you try to figure it out, you're a smart man." I rolled my eyes.

"Sometimes, you're impossible, you know." I felt the car speed up.

"I'm impossible?" I shouted. "Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?"

"Please," he rolled his eyes and gave me a quick look. "Don't even try to throw it on me, it's not gonna work."

"You're right." I narrowed my eyes at him. "It's never your fault. Takeru Takaishi is _always_ right."

"Stop it." He said between his clenched teeth.

"No, no." I continued, words spilling from my mouth without I even thinking them. "Look at me, I'm mister perfect and I never do anything wrong." My hands waved furiously in the air as I made an imitation not flattering at all of him. "So people should give up trying and just do things like I say!"

"Are you at least listening to what you're saying?" Takeru shouted back and threw me a fierce glare. "All this dagger throwing at me, isn't it because you're really mad at yourself?"

"What?" I gasped absurdly shocked.

"Your pride is set so high that you can't admit that you are wrong, Hikari." Takeru shot.

"Yeah, tell that to your ego." I rolled my eyes.

I felt Takeru looking at me from the corner of his eyes and he was about to give me a comeback…

… But I never heard what he had to say, because the next thing I remember is that our car started spinning out of control.

* * *

I woke up in a hospital room with an army of doctors and nurses in white around me. There was an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and a machine beeped somewhere near. My eyes were dazzled and my mind was blurry. I couldn't even keep my eyes open.

"Hikari." I heard a familiar voice calling.

_Takeru, _I thought and I felt my body relaxing. He was alright.

But then, a bushy hazelnut head came to my vision, definitely not Takeru.

"Taichi." I whispered my brother's name.

He let out a messed mixture of laugh, cry and sigh all at the same time.

"Thank God you woke up." He brushed his hand over my cheek and I could see the tears on his eyes.

I tried to apologize for letting him worried but I couldn't make the words come out. My head was so heavy.

And unconsciously my mind ran back to my best friend. I needed to see him. I needed to apologize. He needed to know that I didn't mean any of what I said, I had to assure him I loved him.

"Takeru." His name came out slowly and so quietly that I thought Taichi wouldn't hear me.

But he did. And something I couldn't figure out what, crossed his eyes.

"Hikari," he started gentle and I didn't like his tone. "The accident was really bad. The doctors said it was a miracle for you to survive."

What was he talking about? I started to panic; I felt my heart racing and sweat started to form on my forehead and hands. I didn't like where that conversation was going.

"Hikari," there was apprehension in his voice. "Takeru didn't make it."

The machine next to me started beeping like crazy following my heartbeat. I tried to stand up but strong hands held me back on the bed. I yelled with heavy tears in my eyes. And then the world was black and I couldn't think of anything.

* * *

Taichi said that they kept me under strong sedatives for a few days. I didn't like it. Sedatives put me to sleep but they didn't send the nightmares away, nor the pain in my heart. I kept watching the accident scene over and over again in my dreams, not able to wake up from them thanks to the amount of drugs running through my veins.

"I can't remember, Taichi." I told my brother when we were alone in the room after the nurse gave me my daily dose of painkillers.

"What, sis?" Taichi sat on the bed next to me and squeezed my right hand.

"I can't remember what we were arguing about." I felt the hot tears coming to my eyes and a knot forming on my throat. "I don't think it was about anything important, because we _never_ argued about anything important, but I still can't remember."

The look Taichi gave me hurt, but that was only the top of the iceberg and I couldn't care less about it at the moment.

"Why can't I remember, Taichi?" I begged my older brother for an answer.

"Sometimes," Taichi was choosing his words carefully. He wiped away my tears with his sleeve. "When you go through a_ bad experience_… your brain instinctively shuts some memories, to protect you…"

I nodded swallowing hard. If my brain was trying to protect me from the pain, well, it wasn't doing a very good job.

"I wanna see… him." I couldn't say his name.

"Hikari," Taichi said gentle. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"I wanna see him." I said again firmly.

Taichi kept looking at me for a moment, probably pounding his choices.

"I'll ask your doctor." He said finally.

* * *

The doctor denied it at first; he said it would put my health in risk. Taichi protested in my favor and somehow we managed to convince him. I would have ten minutes with him that afternoon.

I walked to the morgue alone. Taichi volunteered himself to come with me, but I said I wanted some minutes alone. I assured him I would be fine. I don't think he believed me.

Taichi ended up waiting outside the door.

There was a white sheet over his body.

I stopped next to him, afraid to lift the sheet up.

I breathed slowly trying to stop my heart from racing and moved the cloth off his face. And a part of me regretted it.

Because the Takeru I saw lying there wasn't the Takeru I knew. His hair looked like his, but it wasn't full and shiny as it used to be. It reminded me of his face, but he was pale, with bruises and cuts here and there and he wasn't smiling.

_Takeru, please open your eyes. There's so much I haven't told you yet._

I touched his cheek with the tip of my fingers. He was cold at my touch. I don't know why it surprised me that much, but it did.

_We have to go feed the ducks again. And we have tickets for Yamato's show. You know he's waiting for you to go._

His lips were always so warm over mine and then, they were cold like ice. I felt like reality finally hit me.

Takeru was dead.

A single tear ran through my cheek and I didn't stop it.

_You promised you would never leave me._

I fell on my knees; my face was on the level of his. My hands caressed his hair in a hurried way.

_You lied to me, Takeru._

Other tears followed the first lonely one and I couldn't hold sobbing any longer.

My thumb softly rubbed his cheek repetitively.

I kept looking at his shut eyes.

_I'll never see your eyes again._

Your very, very blue eyes.

* * *

His funeral is mostly a blur in my memory. I remember our friends there; my family; his family… I was hugged a lot that day but the only person I really wanted to hug me was _him._

I didn't walk to his coffin, that, I remember. I didn't go because I knew I wouldn't be able to hold myself if I did. So I just stayed there, still, biting the inside of my cheeks, trying to control my tears as the rest of our friends said their last goodbyes.

I watched as they threw earth over his coffin. I watched as people left slowly, back to their own lives, when _his_ life was way over.

Taichi hugged me and offered himself to take me home. I looked around and we were almost the last ones left. Almost, because there was only one other person next to his grave.

"Yamato." I called and my voice came out shaky.

I hadn't spoken to him since the accident. When I think about it, I guess Taichi asked him not to see me. My brother probably knew I wouldn't stand it.

Because the same day I'd lost my best friend and the love of my life, Yamato had lost his only brother.

Yamato turned at our direction and I saw the pain on his eyes. He had seen better days.

I walked slowly to him and he came to meet me.

He hugged me so tight that I couldn't breathe. I hugged him back, burying my face on his chest.

"I'm sorry, Yamato." I cried. "It's my fault."

"Hikari, stop it." Yamato hugged me tighter. "It was a terrible accident…"

"You don't understand, Yamato. It was my fault!" I pushed him away with all my strength. "I made him lose control of the car. I killed him!"

I was crying again. I cried every single day since the accident until my eyes burned and yet they kept producing tears. If one could die of crying, I'd be long dead by then. And a part of me really wished it.

"Don't you ever say that again." Yamato held me by the shoulder and there was anger along with his pain. "Look, Takeru wouldn't want you blaming yourself for that, and you know it better than anyone, right?"

I just stared at his eyes, unable to speak. Yamato had blue eyes, but they weren't like his. They didn't have whatever it was that made Takeru's eyes so special. They weren't of the same blue.

"It was an _accident_, Hikari." He assured me again and I nodded quietly.

I didn't believe him, but I pretended I did.

I love Yamato and I would never make less of him, but how could I believe him? The only person in the world I knew would never lie to me had deceived me in the worst way possible.

* * *

My friends made me go through a therapist after that. Doctor Kido helped, I think. He –and time - helped me to accept the reality. My doctor also said it would be good for me if I shared my feeling with someone, that's why I started this, as a tribute for him.

Eight years have passed.

The pain? Never left my side. The tears? Always come back. I just learnt how to live with them, I stopped denying the truth.

Now, I can say I'm thankful for all Takeru gave me, for all he did for me. He helped me whenever I needed a hand. He was there to hug me when I felt like crying and to laugh with me when no one else was around. He protected me till the end. He saved my life.

I loved him, I still do. Come to think, I don't think there ever was a time when I didn't love him. I already loved him back when we draw Agumon, the orange dinosaur together, I just didn't know it yet.

And I'll love him for the rest of my life.

My name is Hikari Yagami and this was the short story of how I fell in love with my best friend.

* * *

**Aww... Okay, there are a lot of untied knots and I know it. And yeah, maybe Hikari would have killed herself (Light can't exist without Hope, blah, blah, blah...) but I couldn't kill two of my favorite characters. It would kill ME!**

**So I was thinking about making this a multi-chap story (with Takeru dying or not), but at the same time, I'm really happy with the way it turned out. And honestly, I'm split.**

**Anyways, I can't wait for 2015! High Schoolers, dude! They were already hot in adventure 02, imagine now, older and animation with best quality!**

**Cross your fingers, digimon fans.**

**Adventure evolves~**


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